Lost in the Details

I was forced to ask someone
How their day was today.
They never answered me in words,
But simply in actions.

They walked with the air of an elite,
And spoke like a wise philosopher,
Their eyes cried of lost battles,
But their mouths whispered only lies.

In some ways they seemed hollow,
Like they were putting on a show
As if we were so shallow
As to abandon them if we failed to bow.

My smile is beginning to fade,
And I am forced to wonder why
I even tried to understand
All the things wrong with the world,
Without figuring out what was wrong inside
My own spirit and mind.

Things are turning very quickly
And I try to reconcile
But I am falling far too behind,
I simply cannot keep up.

Everything is now a blur
And as I sit in wonder
If only I had wanted more
And tried much longer,

Perhaps all this wouldn't be true.

Perhaps I'd still be at home,
In my warm soft bed,
Dreaming of my future,
Instead of the nightmares of my past.

Soon I will find
The truth to all these lies,
And I shall fulfill my destiny,
As long as I still have you.

But you too, are beginning to fade,
Just like the memories of days gone by,
How long will I last
Without knowing who I really am?

If only you could tell me,
But then what would be the point
During those long summer nights
Of self-enlightenment?

Nothing of course, nothing at all.
For you see, it is all but a trap.
A trap to catch the mind off-guard,
And to steal the thing worth most.

Your beloved soul, that meant so much.
The dearest thing you own,
But it was only natural of you
To take it all for granted.

Jade Smith ~ February 19, 2002